Monday, December 07, 2009

Complete List of Things Caused by Global Warming, and a modest proposal

The Complete List is here. Funny stuff!

Looking at that list, it seems to me could save a lot of ink and time if somebody were to invent some small glyph, icon, or short acronym that meant the same thing as raising the pitch of one's voice to say excitedly "and with global warming, this problem could get even worse!" Perhaps a melting ice cube icon? Whatever we decide on, once the new glyph gets established we could then do away with that ritual incantation, the sentence or two that needs to get tacked on to every news article and every scientific paper abstract that mentions any kind of problem or threat, no matter how remote the connection might be, to signify group affiliation with the Worriers. Instead we could just stamp the story with that icon. Or use it instead of a period to end a story. Think how much quicker that would be! Then the author wouldn't even have to actually invent a ridiculous tie-in that somehow connects their story to the problem of AGW, we could all just take it as read that a sufficiently clever writer could come up with such and acknowledge that he or she would like us to consider it done in this case.

We probably do need an acronym for text-only articles such as reddit comments. I suggest AWGW, meaning "And With Global Warming...". The rest of the phrase is implied, since nobody ever says "and with global warming...this problem might lessen!" or "...this problem might stay just the same!" So whenever you see an article that mentions any bad thing but inexplicably forgets to include an AGW tie-in, you could just comment "AWGW!" to make sure everybody knows the connection is there.

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