Last night I misplaced a restaurant, a woman, and a car.
Lisa and I are running late to Kay's birthday dinner. Lisa tells me the restaurant is at 1515 Hyde Street. I punch that address into my GPS navigator and follow the directions. As we approach the 1500 block, I say "Oh, I know this place! It's really good!" Sure enough, as the numbers approach 1515, there's a cluster of restaurants on the right side of the street including the Hyde Street Bistro, a fabulous french restaurant. That must be it! I don't see any likely parking, so I drop Lisa off at the corner - she's got heels on - and start circling various blocks. It takes 15 minutes or so but eventually I find a quasi-legal spot in front of a tree on Leavenworth where my Beetle only slightly
extends into the nearby driveways - a sufficiently motivated driver could probably still get around me. I walk around the block to the restaurant.
The restaurant is open, but there's no Kay, no Lisa, no dinner party. Huh?
I step out to the street and check the address. Ah, the Bistro isn't 1515 after all; it's 1519. Clearly 1515 must be the next restaurant along! Er, no. That's 1513. 1515 is an apartment building wedged between the two. With a dark window and a locked front door.
There's no restaurant here.
I want to say "Lisa, there's no restaurant here! We've got the wrong address; we need to call Kay and get it right." Only one problem with that plan: there's no Lisa here either.
Where could she be?
I don't have my cellphone with me to call Lisa's. I know! I'll find a payphone. There's a payphone at the end of the street. No answer. I leave a somewhat panicked where-did-you-go message closing with "I'll just take one last look along the block and see if I can find you." In the process of so doing...I find it! It turns out I misheard; the restaurant was at 1550, not 1515. In fact, "1550 Hyde" is the name of the restaurant as well as its address, which explains why no name was given earlier. The girls are there. An interesting dinner is had. After dinner we go look for the car, find the spot where I parked it, and...
There's no car here.
Fortunately, it wasn't stolen; it was towed for blocking the driveway. $184 is the ransom.
Lisa is sympathetic. Me: "I've parked so many times in quasi-legal spaces that I was about due. Besides, if you divide the cost of this ticket by all the times I've parked illegally, the average cost probably isn't too bad." Lisa: "No wonder you're always in a good mood, thinking like that. I'd be pissed."