Dilbert on Gambling
Scott Adams wasn't meant to be on a blackjack team:
"I can’t tell you how many times well-meaning people have described to me the simple steps involved in casino blackjack. It always sounds to me exactly like this:
'It’s easy. If the dealer gets at least (I’m drifting off by now) and you have (Jesus, will this explanation ever stop?) then obviously you would (Is my soul leaving my body? No, phew, it’s just cigarette smoke.) But if you get dealt a (mwuwahah) then you want to double down. That means (Hey, that guy behind you has a funny shirt. I wonder where he got it.) And of course you can always bet on the (Nahnahahnahnah), and that means (I’ll be at the slot machines.)'
One way you that can know for sure you’ll never be a professional gambler is if you ever have this thought: I wonder how quickly I can get rid of this last 40 dollars."